Sunday, May 20, 2018

Beware Of Narcissists

No, this will not be a blog about Donald Trump. Well, at least not specifically. It will, however, be a blog about people like him, whom can effect one's life in a more direct personal way.






We all know at least one person who is a narcissist. Most of us know more than one. Some of us know more than we care to admit or which we are comfortable.


Some narcissists are obvious and over the top like Trump or Kayne West or Johnny Depp. They don't (or can't) even care to hide it. Many narcissists, though, attempt to be low-key. But, the rub is they can't. Their narcissism prevents them from ever being humble or inconspicuous.






Often times we tend to laugh off narcissists as attention whores or #KnowItAllGuys. But, the truth is it's dangerous to do that because most narcissists if allowed to infiltrate your life can be detrimental. They're not positive people and will usually bring negativity and chaos into your life. It's the same negativity and chaos that encapsulates their lives.


We all know those people who make everything about them. It's a staple characteristic of a narcissist. If you have good news, they have to top it with news about them or anyone they deem worthy of their inner circle. If you have bad news they have worse news. It has to always be about them. And, the caveat to this is often their news is either in part or totally untrue.




Now, that leads us to another common characteristic among narcissists and that is their lying. They love to lie. They lie about their accomplishments. They lie about their character traits. They lie about situations. They lie about other people. And, all of this lying has one primary goal, which is to make either seem great or a victim. It depends on the need and situation.






They also love to project. Projection is more of a favored hobby than lying. They love to say about other people the things which are in fact true about them. The reason for this is simple. Narcissist have to think everyone is as trifilin and paranoid as they are. When you here someone go on and on about how somebody lies or is unfaithful or lazy, ect they are in reality talking about themselves. They project those things onto others whether they be true or not to moralize and justify their own actions.






At their core narcissists are insecure and self-loathing.
This is where they can truly become cancerous in your life. Because of the insecurity and self-loathing they are always looking to tear others down, belittle them, demean them and make them feel insecure. They do this to make themselves feel better about them. And, it's not always obvious. They will do it through little jabs, actions, inaction, ect.






For example, one time this person I know was attempting to belittle the intelligence of someone else. In their attempt to belittle this person's intelligence they used me to make their point by saying something that on the surface sounded complimentary but was really a shot at me. They said, "Hey, Rob, you're fairly intelligent...". I retorted, "Well, I would say I'm more than 'fairly' intelligent." I then received a sneer and disdainful look, which confirmed it was meant to be an insult.






Another time (not long after my stroke) I mentioned to someone that I was coming along and while adjusting to my temporary limitations was difficult I was managing. This person responded, "Yeah, it must be tough being less than a man now." I was so taken aback I didn't respond. Of all the emotions and thoughts I was going through in the aftermath of my stroke being "less than a man" wasn't one of them. And, shamefully, I admit for a minute I started to question if I was less than a man or if that's how people saw me. But, I snapped out of it and saw the comment for what it was and what it's intention was.






These are the types of things narcissists say because they want to strip your self-esteem. They do things to destabilize your life emotionally, financially and physically all in an effort to aggrandize themselves. Narcissists truly believe everyone is always and should always be thinking about them. Everything you do should benefit them or it shouldn't be done.










And, perhaps, the greatest danger is if you don't think they're the smartest, toughest, best looking, ect and don't believe everything you do should be to their benefit they see you as the enemy. They begin hating you and will seek to destroy you in every way they can. With narcissist there are only two types of people: those whom either worship them or are willing to be beholden to them; and, the enemy.






And, most narcissists are almost always angry and hateful and anxious because the vast majority of people aren't going to worship them. So, they literally think that almost everyone is out to get them. They stay surly and mad because their narcissism has them believing that everybody is always thinking about them but the truth is 99.5% of people don't know them nor care to and 99.4% of people don't give two damns about what they're doing at any given time nor do they care to cater to them. Narcissists constantly get reminded of this, which drives them batshit crazy.






Narcissistic people can be really bad for you.

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