Right off the bat let me say I am an affectionate person. I like to give hugs and receive hugs. I generally don't have an issue with physical affection (if it's someone I know).
However, former Vice President Joe Biden seems to have an issue-a huge one- with not knowing when affection goes too far.
A couple of weeks ago former Nevada Lieutenant Governor candidate, Lucy Flores, said Biden inappropriately touched her back in 2014. Flores said the incident occurred at one of her campaign rallies which Biden attended campaigning for midterm election candidates.
She said Biden, whom she had only briefly met a couple of times, walked up behind her placing his hands on her shoulders. Biden then proceeded to sniff her hair and kissed her on the back of her head.
Flores said she attempted to move away from him because she felt the display of affection was inappropriate and made her feel uncomfortable.
This revelation sparked other women to come forward with similar stories. As of present date as many as nine women have relayed incidents of Biden inappropriately touching then and/or invading their personal space.
Along with the revelations a flood of old videos and photos have popped up featuring Biden being quite handsy with women and adolescent girls. The videos and photos include Biden stroking women/girls hair, grabbing their hands and kissing their foreheads and hugging them.
Needless to say these incidents have initiated cries of #MeToo, criticisms of Biden and "faux outrage" from some on the right. And, it has also brought forth stringent defenses of Biden from those on the left and the right.
One such defense came from Stephanie Carter, the wife of former Obama administration Secretary of Defense Ash Carter. A video of Ash Carter's swearing-in ceremony resurfaced highlighting one of Biden's perceived inappropriate touching episodes. The video showed Biden placing his hands on Mrs. Carter's shoulders as he leaned down and whispered into her ear.
From the outside the image appears to be quite intimate. However, Stephanie Carter insisted Biden's affection was innocent and merely a friend consoling her during a very nervous moment. The Carters and Bidens are long time friends.
Another image making the rounds is of Biden displaying affection toward the teenage daughter of Senator Chris Coons. Biden is seen placing his hands on her shoulders, whispering in her ear and periodically stroking her hair.
It must be noted that all of the women who have come forward, including Flores, are insisting they didn't feel Biden's behavior was sexual. They are just saying it was inappropriate and unwanted.
In his defense Biden has iterated his actions were innocent and simply the manner he deals with people. He said he is affectionate toward men and women, which is true, and he is a person who likes to encourage and provide solace.
Now, if Biden's behavior was limited to placing his hands on peoples shoulders and offering words of comfort and encouragement I would say this is not a big deal. He should be decidedly more cognizant of folks' feelings and respectful of their personal space, but still not a huge issue.
Here's the problem. The kissing, stroking of the hair and intimate hugs are creepy. It's creepy, y'all! Who kisses women they barely know on their head without permission? That is just...odd. And, what grown ass-old ass-man strokes the hair of teenage girls he doesn't know or does know for that matter? It's beyond the pale. For the love of God!
As I said, I'm an affectionate guy. I love to give hugs and receive hugs. The vast majority of people who know me know this. It's who I am and I don't apologize for it.
I believe platonic intimacy and affection are healthy. But, not everyone feels that way and their feelings must be respected. It is their personal space.
However, let me be clear. I have never nor would I ever walk behind someone I know, let alone someone I don't know, and kiss them on the back of the head. I often hug many of the women I work with but I would never walk up to them and sniff their hair like a dog sniffing a pork chop. Who the fuck does that?! Seriously!
A person's personal space is theirs to decide who can and can't be in it. For example, I use discernment in whom I do and don't hug. If someone gives the signal they don't want to be touched (or at least not by me) I don't touch them. This is not difficult.
And, as affectionate as I am, I don't want to be hugged or caressed (platonically) by just anybody. If I don't know you like that, keep your distance.
Quick anecdote. Many years ago I worked at a grocery store. I worked in the office/customer service desk. If you know me, you know I often wear cologne because I have a phobia about stinking. I have many shortcomings regarding my physical appearance but my body odor game is going on point. I don't like folks who smell like a combo of rotten milk and rotten ass so I am not going to smell like that either.
Anyway, there was this woman, who worked in another department. One day she came up to the desk to get something. She remarked how good I smelled. The next day she had come around behind the desk (unbeknownst to me) walking up behind me. Next thing I know her nose is literally resting on my neck sniffing me! She said, "Damn you smell delicious!" I recoiled from her and politely thanked her while thinking, "This chick is crazy!"
Well, she then began doing it every day. She did it in front of customers. I asked her to stop because it was weird. Not to mention it was unprofessional.
She didn't stop. She literally would come up to me whether from behind or in front of me inhaling my cologne like Lindsay Lohan snorting a line of the booger sugar.
Finally, I went to one of my assistant managers asking them to instruct her to stop. It was not only uncomfortable and hella weird but I felt like my personal space had been violated.
My point is that type of behavior is beyond inappropriate and just effin strange.
Biden seemed to have understood this. He released a video on Thursday saying he was listening and he would strive to be better. He didn't apologize for his behavior, but he did seem contrite.
But, then came Friday afternoon. Biden attended an event where he proceeded to make light of the incidents. After hugging the guy who introduced him he joked the hug was ok because he "was given permission". It became evident he doesn't understand what the issue is.
Part of the reason for this is the support he's received from many Democrats and some Republicans most of whom are older. People such as Mika Brzezinski and Meghan McCain have come to his defense. Not a huge surprise they are missing the point.
They have stated they appreciate Biden's affectionate behavior. That is great but because they are ok with being touched in that manner doesn't mean others do.
And, again, the larger point to me is not the hands on the shoulder or the hugs. It is the kissing and hair stroking. It's effin creepy. Especially when he does it to people he either does not know or has a cursory acquaintance.
Also, it's not lost on me folks like Mika and "My father" Meghan are likely coming from a place of partisanship and Trump hatred. They believe Biden is the best shot at defeating Trump in 2020. So, they believe these allegations are hurting those chances and Mika literally said as much.
The reality is this. Biden doesn't respect boundaries. He doesn't appreciate folks' personal space.
I don't necessarily believe his actions are predatory. The women who have levied the accusations said they didn't believe they were sexual in nature, so why should I. But, it is undoubtedly odd and peculiar.
It's definitely a behavioral pattern for him. And, people who say this is a generational issue need to stop. Sure, this nonsense was tolerated 30 or 40 years ago but it has never been right nor acceptable.
This is not a matter of Joe Biden getting with the times. It's a matter of him realizing it is super inappropriate for him to touch anyone in a manner which is unwanted or makes them uncomfortable. It's about understanding and respecting personal space.
And, one last time, sniffing women's hair and kissing them uninvited is creepy af. There is no context which that is condonable.
Oh, for those saying this disqualifies Biden from running for president it does not. Are we seriously going to have that discussion considering who is currently in the White House ?
But, I do say Biden's behavior and his apparent lack of understanding how inappropriate it is should be a cause for concern if you are considering him for the Democratic nominee.
However, former Vice President Joe Biden seems to have an issue-a huge one- with not knowing when affection goes too far.
A couple of weeks ago former Nevada Lieutenant Governor candidate, Lucy Flores, said Biden inappropriately touched her back in 2014. Flores said the incident occurred at one of her campaign rallies which Biden attended campaigning for midterm election candidates.
She said Biden, whom she had only briefly met a couple of times, walked up behind her placing his hands on her shoulders. Biden then proceeded to sniff her hair and kissed her on the back of her head.
Flores said she attempted to move away from him because she felt the display of affection was inappropriate and made her feel uncomfortable.
This revelation sparked other women to come forward with similar stories. As of present date as many as nine women have relayed incidents of Biden inappropriately touching then and/or invading their personal space.
Along with the revelations a flood of old videos and photos have popped up featuring Biden being quite handsy with women and adolescent girls. The videos and photos include Biden stroking women/girls hair, grabbing their hands and kissing their foreheads and hugging them.
Needless to say these incidents have initiated cries of #MeToo, criticisms of Biden and "faux outrage" from some on the right. And, it has also brought forth stringent defenses of Biden from those on the left and the right.
One such defense came from Stephanie Carter, the wife of former Obama administration Secretary of Defense Ash Carter. A video of Ash Carter's swearing-in ceremony resurfaced highlighting one of Biden's perceived inappropriate touching episodes. The video showed Biden placing his hands on Mrs. Carter's shoulders as he leaned down and whispered into her ear.
From the outside the image appears to be quite intimate. However, Stephanie Carter insisted Biden's affection was innocent and merely a friend consoling her during a very nervous moment. The Carters and Bidens are long time friends.
Another image making the rounds is of Biden displaying affection toward the teenage daughter of Senator Chris Coons. Biden is seen placing his hands on her shoulders, whispering in her ear and periodically stroking her hair.
It must be noted that all of the women who have come forward, including Flores, are insisting they didn't feel Biden's behavior was sexual. They are just saying it was inappropriate and unwanted.
In his defense Biden has iterated his actions were innocent and simply the manner he deals with people. He said he is affectionate toward men and women, which is true, and he is a person who likes to encourage and provide solace.
Now, if Biden's behavior was limited to placing his hands on peoples shoulders and offering words of comfort and encouragement I would say this is not a big deal. He should be decidedly more cognizant of folks' feelings and respectful of their personal space, but still not a huge issue.
Here's the problem. The kissing, stroking of the hair and intimate hugs are creepy. It's creepy, y'all! Who kisses women they barely know on their head without permission? That is just...odd. And, what grown ass-old ass-man strokes the hair of teenage girls he doesn't know or does know for that matter? It's beyond the pale. For the love of God!
As I said, I'm an affectionate guy. I love to give hugs and receive hugs. The vast majority of people who know me know this. It's who I am and I don't apologize for it.
I believe platonic intimacy and affection are healthy. But, not everyone feels that way and their feelings must be respected. It is their personal space.
However, let me be clear. I have never nor would I ever walk behind someone I know, let alone someone I don't know, and kiss them on the back of the head. I often hug many of the women I work with but I would never walk up to them and sniff their hair like a dog sniffing a pork chop. Who the fuck does that?! Seriously!
A person's personal space is theirs to decide who can and can't be in it. For example, I use discernment in whom I do and don't hug. If someone gives the signal they don't want to be touched (or at least not by me) I don't touch them. This is not difficult.
And, as affectionate as I am, I don't want to be hugged or caressed (platonically) by just anybody. If I don't know you like that, keep your distance.
Quick anecdote. Many years ago I worked at a grocery store. I worked in the office/customer service desk. If you know me, you know I often wear cologne because I have a phobia about stinking. I have many shortcomings regarding my physical appearance but my body odor game is going on point. I don't like folks who smell like a combo of rotten milk and rotten ass so I am not going to smell like that either.
Anyway, there was this woman, who worked in another department. One day she came up to the desk to get something. She remarked how good I smelled. The next day she had come around behind the desk (unbeknownst to me) walking up behind me. Next thing I know her nose is literally resting on my neck sniffing me! She said, "Damn you smell delicious!" I recoiled from her and politely thanked her while thinking, "This chick is crazy!"
Well, she then began doing it every day. She did it in front of customers. I asked her to stop because it was weird. Not to mention it was unprofessional.
She didn't stop. She literally would come up to me whether from behind or in front of me inhaling my cologne like Lindsay Lohan snorting a line of the booger sugar.
Finally, I went to one of my assistant managers asking them to instruct her to stop. It was not only uncomfortable and hella weird but I felt like my personal space had been violated.
My point is that type of behavior is beyond inappropriate and just effin strange.
Biden seemed to have understood this. He released a video on Thursday saying he was listening and he would strive to be better. He didn't apologize for his behavior, but he did seem contrite.
But, then came Friday afternoon. Biden attended an event where he proceeded to make light of the incidents. After hugging the guy who introduced him he joked the hug was ok because he "was given permission". It became evident he doesn't understand what the issue is.
Part of the reason for this is the support he's received from many Democrats and some Republicans most of whom are older. People such as Mika Brzezinski and Meghan McCain have come to his defense. Not a huge surprise they are missing the point.
They have stated they appreciate Biden's affectionate behavior. That is great but because they are ok with being touched in that manner doesn't mean others do.
And, again, the larger point to me is not the hands on the shoulder or the hugs. It is the kissing and hair stroking. It's effin creepy. Especially when he does it to people he either does not know or has a cursory acquaintance.
Also, it's not lost on me folks like Mika and "My father" Meghan are likely coming from a place of partisanship and Trump hatred. They believe Biden is the best shot at defeating Trump in 2020. So, they believe these allegations are hurting those chances and Mika literally said as much.
The reality is this. Biden doesn't respect boundaries. He doesn't appreciate folks' personal space.
I don't necessarily believe his actions are predatory. The women who have levied the accusations said they didn't believe they were sexual in nature, so why should I. But, it is undoubtedly odd and peculiar.
It's definitely a behavioral pattern for him. And, people who say this is a generational issue need to stop. Sure, this nonsense was tolerated 30 or 40 years ago but it has never been right nor acceptable.
This is not a matter of Joe Biden getting with the times. It's a matter of him realizing it is super inappropriate for him to touch anyone in a manner which is unwanted or makes them uncomfortable. It's about understanding and respecting personal space.
And, one last time, sniffing women's hair and kissing them uninvited is creepy af. There is no context which that is condonable.
Oh, for those saying this disqualifies Biden from running for president it does not. Are we seriously going to have that discussion considering who is currently in the White House ?
But, I do say Biden's behavior and his apparent lack of understanding how inappropriate it is should be a cause for concern if you are considering him for the Democratic nominee.
