I don't want this to be a grievance piece. But, I'm afraid it's probably going to be a grievance piece. I can't say I'm sorry if it's seen that way because sometimes enough is enough.
Lately, civility (or the lack thereof) has been a major topic in our public discourse. Honestly, it's been a topic the last three years. It has largely centered around the political arena. However, politics isn't the only area where civility has declined.
General common human behavior has seen a decline in civility. Perhaps, it is just me, but it seems there are ruder, more obnoxious and surlier people than there used to be. It seems every other person is either always attituded up or just a constant roll of the dice as to what treatment you'll receive from them. Shit, with some folks their disposition can literally change from minute to minute.
It just seems for whatever reason fewer and fewer people are generally civil making it harder and harder to be nice to folks. So many people seemed to be pissed off all the time. I get some of it. Life is more stressful for many people now than it used to be. Work is stressful. Finances are often strained. But, frankly, the anger seems to transcend race, gender, social status or financial situations. People just seem to be edgier and ruder.
More people have become tribal. In becoming tribal they've become less and less tolerant of anyone whom they view as "different". They are way more likely to "otherize" folks. It can be based on race, nationality, religion, political ideology or something as simple as sports teams or regions of the country. Basically, if someone isn't "one of them" they feel free to ostracize them or dismiss them.
People literally can't agree to disagree. They refuse to disagree without being disagreeable. Because civility is all but gone folks almost immediately demonize anyone who disagrees with them especially if it revolves around politics. Anyone on the left is automatically a "Communist, Jesus hating, evil, baby killing, unpatriotic leftist". Anyone on the right is a "racist, hateful, Facist religious nutjob". Of course, facts always be damned. It's possible likely that a particular person is none of those things. But, because people are ignorant and myopic they can't intelligently discuss anything without almost instantaneously resorting to name calling and extremism. And, no, I don't apologize for that characterization. Listen to people around you, read social media, hell maybe listen to yourself.
People don't seem to be able to have an open frank debate without seeing the other person as the enemy (if you're lucky). Most of the time they see them as evil and needed to be eradicated. Seriously, it's insane. Friendships and family bonds have literally been splintered, if not annihilated, over political differences which to me is just asinine. But, again, it is true.
I'll take myself. The majority of Facebook friends list is Trump supporters. I would say probably 60 to 70% if you count what I think are closet supporters. (My Twitter feed probably swings the other way.) As you know, I'm not a supporter of his orangeness. I don't hide that. Perhaps, I should given the demographics of my Facebook. However, I have my convictions and I'm proud of them. Some might say my candor in my criticism of our President is a profile in courage. I don't think it is. Regardless, I know my post are popular with a select few which explains the often miniscule likes and comments they receive. Or, maybe my writing is shitty Who's to say? But, either way, I'm ok with that. I am not going to unfriend anyone over political differences. I never will unless they get personal and ignant. And, I've had a few get personal but not to the point I felt the need to get petty and send their ass packin. Unfortunately, I can't say the same has unilaterally been shown in kind. I've had a handful of folks unfriend me. 😳 What can I do. It's unfortunate. I can't say the first couple of times it didn't hurt my feelings. But, now...screw 'em, right. I have never been rude to anyone on my page whom I disagreed. (If I have let me know.) I have debated but never debased. So, if someone wants to unfriend me because we disagree about the President or immigrants or climate change then that's their incivility on display and says more about them than me. You don't have to agree with me for me to be civil to you!
The same principle applies in all areas of life. Look, some people you aren't going to click with. Some folks aren't going to like you. Some folks you aren't going to like. Some people may be justified in their dislike. You may be justified in your dislike. Regardless, I'm going to be a human being and be civil. I'll be kind. I certainly won't go out of my way to be an ass or douchebag. However, way too many people in today's society will. They go out of their way to throw shade and be an insufferable jackass. And, what kills me is if you or I were to treat them that way they'd damn near have a breakdown! Seriously! "You don't have to be an asshole. Always got an attitude." Lol. It's astounding, really!
Civility is a two way street. For as much as you think you deserve civility, you should feel obligated to give it. Really! It doesn't cost anything to be a decent person. It shouldn't be that difficult to debate an issue with people without resorting to name calling, labeling and demonizing. If you find these things hard, you have a problem...or several! Look, I'm not saying it is always easy or even appropriate to be civil. Some fools love to perform! They cross lines and need to be put in check. I said after #Charlottesville I didn't want one mofo telling me, "just learn to agree to disagree". I'm not going to be agreeable with people who literally want me to be banished from my OUR country (or killed) simply because of my skin color. Every rule has exceptions. That ish isn't playing here! But, the vast majority of the time civility can be employed.
This country public discourse is in peril. Once, we lose the ability to have civil communication we are on a slippery slope to irreversible dysfunction. That's not hyperbole.
#BeBetter
