A mistake so many people (including me) make is letting the opinions of one, two or three people determine our self-image.
We should always determine our own self-image. Of course, take input from others. But, as the saying goes, you can't expect others to love you if you don't love yourself. Now, that doesn't mean having an inflated view of yourself. It doesn't mean being cocky and arrogant is ok. But, it also doesn't mean being self-loathing is ok.
What I noticed (including myself) is that way too many people allow negative toxic people to shape our self-image. We don't listen to those who give us positive feedback and constructive criticism. We indulge those people who put us down, criticize us about insignificant innocuous things and compare us to other people pointing out the ways we are "inferior" to them.
We allow people to assault our self-esteem. We permit people to make us feel worthless or overly flawed. And, the question is why? Why do we do this? Why do we allow the opinion of one or two people (which is usually unfairly biased) outweigh the opinions of the many? It's fascinating to me because I see it in myself and others.
I've recently had an epiphany-one which I wish had come earlier in life. People who intentionally put you down or make you feel inferior will wrap their criticism in packaging of concern or "love" or "being honest" when in reality it's just toxic. This toxicity is almost always born out of insecurity and/or narcissism. People who make you feel less than are often jealous or merely have disdain for whatever it is in you that makes people like you or gives you confidence.
People will ignore positive things 10 people said to them and give credence to something negative one petty ass fool said. I've been guilty of this and seen it in others. It's absolutely inane. People who give real constructive criticism will look to lift you up instead of just tearing you down.
We have to stop letting negative people infiltrate our lives with their toxicity. We can't allow negativity to shape how we see ourselves. People who are always shading you in favor of themselves or someone else they deem "worthy" aren't having your best interest at heart. You have to determine if someone is simply demeaning you to make them feel better about them. You can't shape your self-worth by that.
Know who you are. Know what you're real flaws are and work to improve them. Also, know your strengths and your positives and celebrate them. Know your self-worth and let nobody actively seek to tear you down. Your self-esteem is one of the few things you have that is all yours.
Don't let anyone rob it!
Welcome to the view from the side-eye. A blog providing frank and hopefully humorous (although my comedic skills are rather remedial) commentary on politics, pop culture and sports. We always have capacity to learn and knowledge is most definitely power. I encourage discourse even if it's spirited. I hope you enjoy reading. I am not trying to turn atheists into believers (speaking figuratively) . I am just trying to get you to think. Thank you for reading!
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ReplyDeleteI got to be better too. It's crazy how we tend to let the negative override the pisitive.
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