Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Sweet Baby Jesus! Paulie Walnuts Is Our President

Anyone who is a fan of The Sopranos, whether they be a casual one or a superfan, knows all of the characters are on the surface stereotypical mob figures. Excuse me, I mean waste management. Everyone knows there is no such thing as the mob. Anyway, fans also know that every character has more complexity than the initial cursory impression.


Naturally, the show characters are flawed. Of course, they would have to be because balanced people don't walk around killing people and sawing bodies up so they can be easily exposed. Well adjusted people tend to not live life on the edge of either imprisonment or death when there are no logical reasons to do so. Normal people don't see everything and everyone (including family) as transactional.


Perhaps, the most must see character on The Sopranos (besides maybe Tony Soprano) was Paulie Walnuts. Paulie was one of Tony's most trusted lieutenants, but was also his most frustrating one.


The other night I was watching The Michael Brooks  Show podcast. Michael and comedian, Mike Reccine, were discussing The Sopranos and Paulie Walnuts came up. They were saying how Paulie was the most captivating character on the show because he was a scumbag, amoral and an idiot. But, on one level he was too stupid to realize the depths of his stupidity while on another level he was aware he was intellectually lacking which made him transparently insecure.


As I sat there listening to them reminisce about all of Paulie's treacherous and idiotic moments it hit me. I had an epiphany. The President of the United States is Paulie Walnuts.


Yes, Donald Trump (the wannabe gangster) is the real life equivalent of Paulie.


Hear me out on this.


Paulie was a cruel dude who lacked much of a moral compass. He was essentially a sociopath. Walnuts often lacked empathy unless it was toward Tony or someone/something he saw him in.






Trump can be cruel. Look at his migrant child separation policy. Trump gave military personnel at the southern border the orders shoot to kill any migrants who threw rocks.


Trump has an inability to exhibit empathy. All you have to do is think about the numerous times he was supposed to comfort hurricane victims; yet, he couldn't help but make it about him. Remember, the phone call to the widow of the fallen soldier in Niger. Trump all but said to her, "Shit happens."


Paulie Walnuts was always cracking jokes. He would always seek an opportunity to belittle someone. Especially if it were somebody he was jealous of or felt inferior to.


Trump is the personification of this. He really thinks he is a comedian. Some of his reasons for believing that is because his cult followers laugh at the things he says. The truth is he is sorta funny in a twisted way. If you look through the lens of he is a parody of a bad lounge comic then he is amusing. However, when you realize he is not a bad lounge performer but the President of the United States with the responsibility of millions of lives he is not funny at all.


Paulie would belittle people or mock them because he was insecure. Paulie always seemed envious of Sil. Sil was Tony's boy. That's because Sil was competent and loyal.


Now, take Trump's mocking of people. His endless attacks on Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are not strictly because of his opposition to their ideology as his supporters would like to believe or convince themselves is the case. He attacks them because he is jealous of them and their intellect. Much in the same way it always ate at Paulie how beloved Sil was it eats at Trump the affinity people have towards Obama.


In fact, it is no secret Trump becomes jealous of anyone who gets more attention than he does. It was well reported how pissed he became at the attention John McCain received in the aftermath of his death. It was also reported Trump became the same way recently after President George H.W. Bush's death. Just petty, petty, petty.


Another commonality between the two is the pension for self-aggrandizement, tackiness and ostentatiousness. If you are familiar with Paulie Walnuts, you are familiar with the hair. Walnuts trademark was his black dye job on top with the gray on the sides hairdo. He looked like a tacky skunk.


Paulie was also known for his flashy Cadillacs and overtly "gangsta" suits. Everything about him was "look at me". He loved to brag on himself and his possessions. Paulie believed these things spoke to his greatness although most people saw him as an obnoxious douchebag. He was an obnoxious douchebag.


Well, Trump's trademark is that ridiculous hair. You know the 'do with it's odd chameleon like ability to alternate between orangutan orange and bad dye job blonde. Trump doesn't drive Caddies but he does love a golf cart. But, his ostentatiousness is displayed in gold plated shitters and six foot tall portraits of himself. Instead of "look at me" suits Trump litters the walls of his golf resorts and homes with framed fake Time magazine covers. He is famous for calling media publications pretending to be publicist, John Baron, spinning tales of how women were falling over themselves to be with him and that he is the most virile of men with "huge" sexual potency. (Gawd! This dude is pathetic.) Too bad Stormy Daniels "mushroomed" that narrative and nobody came to Trump's defense. Sad.


Perhaps, where Paulie and Donnie have the most synergy is their Dunning-Krueger. Paulie definitely thought he put the "wise" in wise guy. Paulie thought he was extremely intelligent despite his constant screwups. Walnuts had zero awareness.


Now, if that doesn't sound like our favorite tweeting word misspelling President I don't know what does.


Trump is famous for proudly not being well read. He is famous for acting like he is the smartest person in the room when he isn't even the smartest person in the room when he is the only person in the room.


Trump has a reputation for being a business genius, which is really one of the world's great mysteries. The man filed bankruptcy six times. He ran a casino into the ground. I mean who does that? That is the equivalent of going broke selling ice water in hell.


He possesses little knowledge about science, math, grammar or history. He once justified placing tariffs on Canada to Canadian President Justin Trudea by claiming he was extracting revenge for the War of 1812 except Canada wasn't even a thing until the 1860s. Up until February of 2017 he thought Frederick Douglass was still alive. Hell, I'm still not sure he knows he's dead. The man believes a plane can actually be invisible.


It is astounding and depressing that Paulie Walnuts is essentially the leader of the free world.


Trump thinks he is a mobster. He runs Trump Organization like it's a crime family. He is doing his best to run the country the same way.


He values one way loyalty over competency and intelligence. He believes he, like a mob boss, should have unilateral decision making. Anyone who is not loyal to the boss deserves to be "whacked". For now, this is in the figurative sense. Although his looking the other way on the Saudis murder of Jamal Khashoggi screamed Sopranos.


Paulie Walnuts was a captivating figure. He was even a likeable figure until you realized he was a piece of shit. Paulie was amoral, which led to him being heartless. He was cursory and vapid, which led to him being myopic and shortsighted. Paulie, while having some street smarts, was intellectually lacking and possessed little if any critical thinking, which often led to him making incompetent decisions. Paulie was more concerned with style than substance, which frequently led him to looking foolish and ridiculous and being humiliated.


Of course, Paulie didn't realize nor understand any of this because he lacked self-awareness. He, instead, wallowed in paranoia, self-pity and a belief everyone including the universe was out to get him.


Sounds like Don The Con doesn't it.

No comments:

Post a Comment

R. Kelly Is Trash!

NEW VIDEO! R. Kelly is a trash human being. Why are we still giving him space?!